Brent Dax (brentdax) wrote,
Brent Dax
brentdax

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Laughing all the way through...

Al Sharpton

Character name: "The Reverend"
Race: Hustler
Class/Level: 2nd level Cleric/8th level Demagogue
Alignment: Chaotic Evil

Well, that's all too easy, isn't it? "The Reverend" is a 2nd level Cleric of Malebolge, Demon God of Racial Tension, and an accomplished Demagogue as well.

He's armed with a Staff of Racial Arson, allowing him to cast incendiary fireballs into any racially charged situation. The Staff is +3 against White Interlopers, and does double damage against Jewish shopkeepers. He has been known to wear a Jogging-Suit of the Judgment-Proof, making him completely immune to creditors and defamation lawsuits.

Finally, he also wears a Medallion of False Moderation, giving him a limited mind-influencing power to convince anyone with Intelligence and Wisdom scores of 6 or less that he is in fact now a "mainstream, respectable" political leader, because, hey, he hasn't incited any race-riots in the past six months. What, are all of you still hung up on Crown Heights? It is time (as it is always time) to "move on."

Fortunately for The Reverend, most of the American media does, in fact, have low Intelligence and Wisdom. Chris Matthews (3rd level Newstwit) is particularly susceptible to the Medallion's effects, and takes -6 on any saving throws to resist the charm's power.

--The Definitive D&D Guide to the Democratic Presidential Candidates
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